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Sunday, August 1, 2010

BEDA: Woooo

By the time I finish writing this it'll probably be August 2, but it still counts.
Hello! My name is Jamie. This is my blog, and BEDA starts NOW!

*Applause.*

I'm listening to Darren Criss. He's the dude who plays Harry in AVPM and AVPS. His music is southing. It makes me feel calm, and trust me when I say that I need to feel calm right now.

I start high school on Friday, and I'm scared. I'm scared that I won't have any friends in my classes. I'm scared that the classes will be too hard. I signed up for all honors classes. Lucky for me the only two honors classes I have for the first semester are Honors Biology and AP Human Geography. I don't have Accelerated Math or Honors Literature until second semester, but I do have P.E for second period. I'm not looking forward to that at all. I hate P.E, and it's just icing on the mother effing cake to have it first thing in the morning. I'm gonna be in a horrible, sweaty mood for the rest of the day.

So, I got into this conflict with a girl. Our relationship is kind of hard to explain, but basically she thought I was her best friend, but I really didn't like her. This conflict was over Twitter (Hah, stupid right? Blah. Internet drama.) and Emma was there supporting me and being witty. So, it ended badly and I blocked her. You would think blocking her is a mature decision right? Well, not according to her.

I went on my friends Twitter profile and accidentally clicked on the girl-who-I-had-conflict-with's name. I was linked to her profile, and I saw her latest tweet. It pissed me off.

"#thingsuglypeopledo LIE, jump you on the internet, block you so you can't do anything, then claim they were right. and i'm talking about ugly personalities."

1. Yeah, I lied. Our entire friendship was basically a lie. I was a push over during middle school. I let people walk all over me, including her. I took a stand. She has every right to be mad. I'm pretty mad at her too, but you don't see me posting crap on Twitter (A social networking site were ANYONE in the world can see your tweets.) about her.

2. Jump her on the internet? I'm not even gonna go there. Lawl.

3. Block you so you can't do anything? I blocked her to stay away from stuff like this. I think it was a pretty mature thing for me to do. If she wants to talk to me so badly, then she can text me. She has my number, and I'd rather not have my personal business on Twitter anymore. It's my decision. The block button is there for a reason.

4. I never claimed I was "right." There was no way to even be right in the situation. We were ending our relationship. I don't get it.

It's just put me in a bad mood lately. I've been staying away from her profile since the whole conflict, and then ONE mistake ruined it all. I was in a great mood until I saw that tweet. :(

I don't want you to think I'm playing the victim, because I was a bitch to her. She was also a bitch too. I mean, she brought her nana into the situation. She's a nice woman!

I also ended a "friendship" with another girl. I want to start high school off new without anything holding me back. I felt like I only grew close to her because she was in a lot of my classes, and she talked to me. I'm not a very social person, so I didn't really have a lot of friends in 7th grade. 8th grade was a bit different, but not so much.

RANT OVER

So yes, I start high school on Friday. I'm still not finished with my summer reading project. *Sigh*

My family are leaving to go back to China early Wednesday morning. I honestly don't feel that bad about them leaving. Their views are really different from mine, and we run into conflict about that a lot. And they don't have table manners. Maybe it's because they live in China, but they like to talk about some pretty gross stuff at the dinner table. Loudly. Usually when we go to restaurants. People stare. It makes me feel awkward.

And they make fun of me for my Glee/Chris Colfer/Harry Potter/Avatar The Last Airbender/Internet obsessions. It's to the point where I want to claw their eyes out. They just give me so much crap about it. They also make sure to express their opinions on the LGBTQ community when I'm around, and all I can do is bite my tongue and keep from cutting their heads off like the Headless Horseman. Trust me, I want to, but my mom sends me these warning looks that say "If you say anything I'm going to ground you for 251346316136143 years."

And my two cousins sleep with the dogs at night. Max and Honey. They ALWAYS sleep in my bed. It just...makes me mad. Blah.

Well, yeah. I don't have much to add. I'm not in the best of moods, and I'm pretty sure you could tell.

-Jamieeeee